7 Top Tips to Move Beyond Fear & Procrastination
Fear can be very sneaky and disguise itself in all sorts of ways:
If you want to move forward you can't wait for life to change or be different, you are the one in control of your life, and you are the one who needs to make the change happen... So how do we move beyond our comfort zones, our self doubt and fears with more ease and flow, so we can live a more fulfilled, joyful and shine our light? Read on....
Top Fears which hold people back
Here are 7 Key Factors which have helped my clients move beyond their self-doubt and fears
For example:
If you doubt yourself and feel you aren’t smart enough or good enough, is that from a past experience, someone who either said something to you or treated you a certain way to make you feel you aren’t smart or good enough?
It doesn’t matter who said it and for how long, it could have just been a passing comment from a teacher, or you could have grown up with being put down all the time.
I was told by a teacher I was stupid in front of the whole class, because I couldn’t resolve a maths problem. I’m sure I’m not the only one!! I carried that comment with me thinking I was stupid for over 30 years!!! But I know it wasn't me it was the teacher, maybe he was having a bad day, or didn't actually like his job, or he didn't have the capability, or patience of teaching it in a way I would understand.
I was teased by my brothers throughout my childhood and bullied at my first year in school for being the new girl. So had massive self-esteem issues until my 40’s. I understood before my 40's that my brothers have always loved me, but growing up they didn't know how to express it. Despite knowing my brothers loved me, my beliefs and behaviour remained the same. until I became aware of the patterns in my life, and shifted my old, outdate beliefs.
When someone treats you unfairly or finds it difficult to express love, it is about how they feel about themselves, about their perceptions and opinions based on their life experiences, their insecurities and issues. People who are unkind or incapable of showing love usually feel threatened, unhappy and have many negative self-beliefs .
Most bullies and narcissists have plenty of issues and insecurities, they can be mean, manipulative, abusive and controlling because ultimately, they want to feel better about themselves, and safe. It doesn’t make it fair or right when you get treated badly however it does help you to realise it was never about you, it was about them and their personal issues.
So, when you take a look at whether you are good enough or smart enough is that really true or was it someone else’s opinion based on their own limited life experiences, self-beliefs and issues
5. Worrying about what others thinks… this one is something we all do, however when you break it down it is quite ridiculous how we allow what some one else might thing about us hold us back!
Worrying about what others think can totally block us from moving forward, for example: try something new, put ourselves forward for a promotion, start a new business, or go out on a date, start a class or go to an event, even our personal growth, any of which could have an amazing positive impact on our lives, and on other people's lives... just because we are worried what we think someone else may or may not think about us.
This person could be a complete stranger, or someone who hardly knows us, or someone who we will only deal with for a very short period in our lives…and even if it is someone who knows us, an acquaintance, family, or friend… they are judging based on their personal point of view, their life experiences which comes with their issues, self-doubts, insecurities and agenda.
Because we are so fearful of being judged we hold back from doing things which will possibly bring us enjoyment, fulfilment, financial reward, health and happiness just because we may get judged!!
What's interesting is about 70% of people who you think are judging you are in fact too focused on themselves to even be thinking about you… just saying! The other 30% will judge you anyway based on their life experiences, how they feel about themselves, their insecurities and issues (Not that we are conscious of that is why we judge others) no matter what you do, so you may as well do something which will benefit you and others!!!
6. Failing and making mistakes, they are both just learning curves. Instead of looking at them as mistakes, look at them as stepping stones to success. If it doesn’t work our one way then try it a different way.
Thomas Edison took 1,000 attempts at inventing the light bulb. He was asked by a reporter “What did it feel like to fail 1,000 times” Edison replied “I didn’t fail 1,000 times, the light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”
7. Focus on what is on the other side of your fears…
Depending on what it is your focusing on ask yourself:
How will it benefit you, your family and others?
List all the benefits to you and to others in detail, long term and short term?
For example:
Make the benefits and positive impact more important than the fear, lean into the excitement, think about how it feels when you accomplish something, and focus on how it will feel to achieve each step. Enjoy the process and have fun with it!
If you need some loving assistance and guidance on moving forward, I am happy to chat with you and see if I can help
- Procrastinating – keep putting things off until later or tomorrow
- Excuses – I don’t have time, I don’t have enough energy, I don't have enough money, I will do it when things are different: when the kids are older, when I feel better about myself. My life is too chaotic right now, and so on!
- Worry – About what other people think, what if I make mistakes, what if I fail, I'm not good enough, smart enough, fit enough, interesting enough, I don't have the skills or experience.
If you want to move forward you can't wait for life to change or be different, you are the one in control of your life, and you are the one who needs to make the change happen... So how do we move beyond our comfort zones, our self doubt and fears with more ease and flow, so we can live a more fulfilled, joyful and shine our light? Read on....
Top Fears which hold people back
- Fear of what others will think or say about you?
- Making a fool of yourself – links into worrying about what others think.
- Not being good enough, capable enough, lack belief in your abilities.
- Making mistakes and possibly failure
- Financial security and stability
- Success, is that going to create more work, more complications, more responsibilities, stress, worry, less free time?
- Being let down, betrayed and getting hurt again.
- Lack of support/understanding from family and or friends.
Here are 7 Key Factors which have helped my clients move beyond their self-doubt and fears
- If you have a goal, aspiration or dream in mind which you have been procrastinating about, have a look at it and see if it feels inspiring to you, if you feel excitement, as well as maybe some fear. If you don't have any aspirations at the moment take some time to feel what it is that inspires you, that makes your heart sing, the more we feel inspired the easier it is to over come our fears.
- Visualise yourself already where you want to be, Whether that's around your love life, your business, how you feel about yourself. Tap into the future you want to create and already feel like it's happened, then feel the gratitude and appreciation. (this will help you be in alignment for that future)
- By focusing on the excitement you will lessen the fear and start to feel "scarcited" as my good friend Jeannie likes to say.
- Take some time to sit quietly and become aware of what fears are holding you back, write them down and see if any of them are true, or are they based on old beliefs which you know aren't the truth.
For example:
If you doubt yourself and feel you aren’t smart enough or good enough, is that from a past experience, someone who either said something to you or treated you a certain way to make you feel you aren’t smart or good enough?
It doesn’t matter who said it and for how long, it could have just been a passing comment from a teacher, or you could have grown up with being put down all the time.
I was told by a teacher I was stupid in front of the whole class, because I couldn’t resolve a maths problem. I’m sure I’m not the only one!! I carried that comment with me thinking I was stupid for over 30 years!!! But I know it wasn't me it was the teacher, maybe he was having a bad day, or didn't actually like his job, or he didn't have the capability, or patience of teaching it in a way I would understand.
I was teased by my brothers throughout my childhood and bullied at my first year in school for being the new girl. So had massive self-esteem issues until my 40’s. I understood before my 40's that my brothers have always loved me, but growing up they didn't know how to express it. Despite knowing my brothers loved me, my beliefs and behaviour remained the same. until I became aware of the patterns in my life, and shifted my old, outdate beliefs.
When someone treats you unfairly or finds it difficult to express love, it is about how they feel about themselves, about their perceptions and opinions based on their life experiences, their insecurities and issues. People who are unkind or incapable of showing love usually feel threatened, unhappy and have many negative self-beliefs .
Most bullies and narcissists have plenty of issues and insecurities, they can be mean, manipulative, abusive and controlling because ultimately, they want to feel better about themselves, and safe. It doesn’t make it fair or right when you get treated badly however it does help you to realise it was never about you, it was about them and their personal issues.
So, when you take a look at whether you are good enough or smart enough is that really true or was it someone else’s opinion based on their own limited life experiences, self-beliefs and issues
5. Worrying about what others thinks… this one is something we all do, however when you break it down it is quite ridiculous how we allow what some one else might thing about us hold us back!
Worrying about what others think can totally block us from moving forward, for example: try something new, put ourselves forward for a promotion, start a new business, or go out on a date, start a class or go to an event, even our personal growth, any of which could have an amazing positive impact on our lives, and on other people's lives... just because we are worried what we think someone else may or may not think about us.
This person could be a complete stranger, or someone who hardly knows us, or someone who we will only deal with for a very short period in our lives…and even if it is someone who knows us, an acquaintance, family, or friend… they are judging based on their personal point of view, their life experiences which comes with their issues, self-doubts, insecurities and agenda.
Because we are so fearful of being judged we hold back from doing things which will possibly bring us enjoyment, fulfilment, financial reward, health and happiness just because we may get judged!!
What's interesting is about 70% of people who you think are judging you are in fact too focused on themselves to even be thinking about you… just saying! The other 30% will judge you anyway based on their life experiences, how they feel about themselves, their insecurities and issues (Not that we are conscious of that is why we judge others) no matter what you do, so you may as well do something which will benefit you and others!!!
6. Failing and making mistakes, they are both just learning curves. Instead of looking at them as mistakes, look at them as stepping stones to success. If it doesn’t work our one way then try it a different way.
Thomas Edison took 1,000 attempts at inventing the light bulb. He was asked by a reporter “What did it feel like to fail 1,000 times” Edison replied “I didn’t fail 1,000 times, the light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”
7. Focus on what is on the other side of your fears…
Depending on what it is your focusing on ask yourself:
How will it benefit you, your family and others?
List all the benefits to you and to others in detail, long term and short term?
For example:
- How many people could you help or bring joy to with your service or product?
- What impact will it have on those people?
- What financial reward could you see?
- What freedom would it bring?
- How much fulfilment would it bring?
- How much happiness/love would it bring
- How much healthier and fitter would you be?
Make the benefits and positive impact more important than the fear, lean into the excitement, think about how it feels when you accomplish something, and focus on how it will feel to achieve each step. Enjoy the process and have fun with it!
If you need some loving assistance and guidance on moving forward, I am happy to chat with you and see if I can help
